I came to a realization....it was kinda random but sort of an epiphany. I AM TIRED OF BEING ALONE. This dawned upon me when I opened up the cabinet for glasses to get a drink at lunchtime and I saw my sisters glass she got from her prom....it made me think of all the times I've been alone in my life....prom being one of them. :-[ It's really sad that I've had to be alone for most of my life...even through special moments like prom...I looked like a princess why wouldn't anyone want to go with me? I've been alone at band concerts that my parents weren't able to make....worst of all I've been mostly alone through this struggle through my mental illnesses. I think when I go back to college in a few weeks my goal will be to try to open up more and try to find good people to accept me for who I am...because I can't do this alone...I really can't. I want to be wanted for once in my life...I want to be loved.
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I have an addiction to this. There must be more people suffering from this ? Set up a group. Nobody else joined I just get worried about money in spending on silly stuff. My way of coping with this and other stresses is to steal.I know it's stupid. Help me.
For those of you that reached out to me today I want to say thank you. Your encouragement calmed my heart. I took a nap and I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm still struggling, but being able to let it out here is so comforting that someone is actually listening and cares! Thanks again!!