Hello, im new here and want to introduce myself to everyone. I have struggled with depression and low self esteem on and off throughout my life. About a year and a half ago severe acne decided to come my way and turned my life upside down. I know not all people would react to it the way that I do - some people are stronger, some wouldn't care - but it has had a very negative influence on my life. This began a year and a half ago and I don't think I have had a good moment since. I fake my way through just about everything - social interaction, family gatherings, school (I am a college student), etc. My life is void of pretty much all happiness and has been for far too long. I don't think this a matter of vanity - but rather a matter of something unfortunate happening to a sensitive person. I have tried various psych meds to no avail and am currently seeing a therapist to help me cope (as well as a dermatologist). My therapist tells me that i have body dysmorphic disorder because of the severity of my reaction to the problem. I dont know how much of htis is BDD and how much is acne/scarring - all I know is that I am stuck and feel like there is no way out. Everytime I see myself my stomach sinks and I am reminded of what happened, I can't make eye contact with people anymore, and I have lost what little and fluttering confidence I did have. I fortunately have had both of my parents through all of this and they allow me to vent to them but I feel as though they are getting tired of what I have become. It's just that nothing seems to help much - I'm stuck with this and am having a very, very difficult time coping. I have become desperate and think about suicide daily (but I don't have the guts for that). So here I am, looking for some support and companionship in my battle against this terrible depression. Hi ...
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