Ok...well where to start. I have been googling all kinds trying to find some place to feel safe. Somewhere I can be heard. I feel as loudly as I am trying to tell ppl around me no one is listening. I know I am depressed. I feel ashamed and embarassed. I feel like there is nothing for me to be depressed about however I cant stop the way I feel. My spouse does not understand and it only makes it harder having to have the same old arguments. He makes me feel like I am being needy. He makes me feel like everything is my fault. Its just too much of a burden to carry around on my own anymore. He is the one person in my life that has always been there for me and yet this time he is absent. I am sure because he doesnt understand it. I keep trying to stress to him I am going through something I myself dont understand. My family and friends are clueless. I just feel so alone. I know I need to get help but I am scared. My mother suffers from a chemical imbalance and there were hard times growing up until she had it under control. I dont want to put my kids through it and yet I am still so scared to ask for help. I just carry too much, I know that...I am an overachiever and I give myself standards that even I can no longer live up to. I just really wish I had someone to talk to who would take the time to understand. Anyways, just writing this made me feel a little better. Well for a second anyways.
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