I really don't want to be here. I am a 33 yr old mother of one. She is my love and my life. Now my story. When I was ten yrs old my mother just walked out on our family and barely looked back. The first year she was gone we got Christmas gifts mailed to us. Then the next year my uncle died.And we had to come back home for his funeral. Well Dad decided we were moving back home, to Ohio. Well we stayed in touch for a little while . But eventually we just lost all contact. And that was over twenty years ago. I myself as a mother cannot fathom why she left us and never looked back. It has tore me up from the floor up. As an adult I've tried committing suicide, and I've battled with depression on and off. I've been through counseling and group homes and mediation. I was actually doing really good until................ Feb. of 2007 my Dad got really sick and had to have emergency surgery. He was in the hospital for three weeks .The first couple of weeks he seemed to be improving.Then the third week we got some nasty weather, and had to miss a few days of visiting. Two days before he died we were able to go out. We went to see him and he wasn't my dad.He was very incompotent and seemed like he was lost in his own head. The next day he only seemed worse. That night he passed on. We were unable to afford a funeral, so he was creamated. My brother took his ashes and went to Mississippi, Not bothering to stop by and tell me. I have talked to him once since March of last year.I have no address or phone number for him. None of my other family has been around me either.I don't understand, what did I do to deserve this. I have my boyfriend and my daughter, but I still feel like I'm all alone. I am very easily aggitated and sad. I just don't know about anything anymore.
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I finally came now I will hopefully sleep. My cat pooped out beside me. Must get her, cat & I to bed!