Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

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deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been depressed for most of my life and just started getting treatment for it in 2005 when I had a mental breakdown and had to be put in the hospital. I have been on my meds for alittle over two years but I recently stopped taking them. I am back on them now but I am having a very hard time right now. As soon as I got back on my meds. I found out that my biological father who has not been apart of my life wants to come back and be my father. It brought up so many emotions that I had held back up until this point. Feeling of self hate that I never knew where they came from. It all came flooding back. Now I call my mental health center almost everyday. Just needing someone to talk to. SOmeone to bounce ideas off of. I used to cut myself before and to be honest I have been close to doing it again. I don't know what to do. I have a sonto take care of and this depression is just taking over everything.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you feel about your father, and about him wanting to come back into your life?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome here,

You can bounce your ideas here anytime. I am here we are here and we all try to help eachother the best way we can.

I hope you find support here like I do. The best of luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My father coming back into my life has brought up alot of emotions. Feelings of anger and of pain and just hurt. I feel as if he has never takin responsiblity for not being there for me and that makes me mad. I feel like as soon as I found out about him when I was like 11 my whole world changed and I was never the same. Now I feel like that scared hurt crying little girl again. She never left me. And I was never able to let her go. SO I have alot of feeling about my dad. But at the same time he is my dad and I do love him. We just need to talk about somethings.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do you think you could talk to him on the phone, give him a chance to tell his side of the story?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Take a pice of paper, or bounce it off of us.... try to write down al the things you always wanted to say to your dad and all the things you wanted to know.

You have EVERY right to feel the way you do. You pain is very valid
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do you have a specific therapist that you see? If so, what does he/she think about your getting back into contact with your father?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think that getting it out on paper would help but I have a problem with letting my emotions out.I hold them inside and it just eats me alive. My dad needs to hear what I have to say but he has his own issues and I don't know if he's ready to hear it yet. But at the same time I feel like I have been holding on to this for so long. Its not fair. Him coming back has brought up so much in me. And its all I can do to not go back to the drugs I used to cover my depression or the cutting myself that I used to escape the pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The absolute worst thing is to hold things like that bottled up inside of you. You say that you don't know if your father is ready to hear about it yet, so, why don't you write everything you're feeling in a letter addressed to him? You don't have to send it now (or ever), but you can at least get rid of some of the emotional baggage and, if the time ever feels right, you already have an idea of the things you need to say.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I ended up in the hospital in November 2005. It has been two years now since I have cut. You have a lot of people here to talk to now. I also used to use drugs. I have not used any drugs in almost an entire year now. That includes pot for those who do not consider pot a drug. I do not feel you should withold your feelings towards your father. You have witheld your feelings for years. Your father must understand that coming into your life gives you the right to unleash all the ugly things you might feel you need to say to him. He is an adult, he can take it. Put it to him this way, tell him I have some things to say to you and you are not going to like it. I wish you the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm in the state i am now because I bottled everything up. You and your dad need to get things off your chests and be honest with each other, even if you never reconcile it'll help to tell him
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'd say tell your dad how you feel, yes he may have his own issues but that may never change, are you going to keep this stuff bottled up forever?

Hes made contact with you and he's probably expecting some tough conversations, I'm sure he must realise that yo have questions to ask and feelings to share.

And think about your son he needs you well and happy.

If you feel the need to cut get on here their are always people here, you can pass the time until the feelings have passed.x
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been depressed at least two thirds of my life. I also have a biological father I had not seen since I was a child. I have a great stepfather and many time I even forget I had a biological father! If he showed up in my life again I think I'd fall apart. It would definitely bring up a million emotions I don't think I would want to resurface. I hope things work out for you though.
starfish
starfish
You have a choice of whether or not to engage with your father again. You can still work out your pain in therapy if he is not present in your life, although it will take longer and be more difficult. But that may be a better way for you if seeing him again is too overwhelming.

And if you do decide to connect with him again, you have every right to tell him when you are overwhelmed, and to control how often and how long you spend time with him. If he is truly regarding you as well as himself, he will respect that.

Also, you might want to consider asking him to see a therapist with you. A good mediator can work wonders to help you deal with painful things.
deleted_user
deleted_user
:(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome to DS, I'm here for you if you would like to chat. Kind regards
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