
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Hi, my name is Dave; Im 39-years old who has been in a major depression for about 3-months. Its not my first bout with major depression; Ive been battling with it for many years & Im in treatment. I think that I know what triggers me to go into a deep depression, but each time I fool myself thinking that I can handle myself & the situation differently; the last couple of times I only emotionally end up in the tank.
Aside from suffering major depression I also have a physical disability, Cerebral Palsy that has been uncommonly progressing within the last 6-years. I have no use of any of my 4-limbs; I use a head-pointer to type & to use a touch screen on my laptop. Doctors believe that I may also be suffering from some other neurological condition that no one can diagnose. Its not my physical declination which as me all depressed, but I get bored & isolated sitting at home.
Although Ive gone to college for a little bit & everybody suggests for me to return, but I simply never had the desire & motivation in going even when I was briefly attending college. It may be a weak excuse, but I dont enjoy reading & forget about studying I just can never focus & my mind wonders. I believe that I know what my emotional issue is & no matter how many times it has occurred & caused me horrific pain I still let myself fall. This may sound very elementary, but no matter where I go theres usually some female (non-physically disabled) who I develop an overwhelming attraction towards which usually turns into a serious obsession. In some ways Im not stupid because I always know & tell myself from day one that the female is not interested in me as I may be & is unavailable. Sometimes I try to hide my feelings & keep them all closed in, but we all know that eventually they blow up. Other times I try just to be friends with the female which is great at first, but then after a while I seem to find myself craving for more & more of their attention from them that just isnt there & sometimes I sense them starting to back away. I NEVER disrespected nor behaved inappropriate towards any of the females; I guess that Im just guilty of always wearing my emotions on my sleeves & they detect it. Do I peruse after them, I honestly dont mean to, I dont intend to, but when Im around them I become more obsess & crave for their attentiveness.
Currently I attend an adult day program just to get myself out of / away from my parents, but I havent gone for a few weeks. The program is mostly elderly folks with Alzheimers or other related conditions, but the personal care there is unspeakable. I did attend at another day program for folks with Cerebral Palsy, but CP is such broad term/category; I just became bored, wanted a change, & didnt care for how some of the other clients (not me) were being treated. Well for the first few months at the new program things were great, but I slowly notice my moods slipping down feeling empty. Meanwhile a new staff member, Lorraine was hire for activities & everyday I felt my emotions gravitating towards her. Lorraine was different than much of the other staff, kind of quiet, secluded, & low-keyed which form some reasons seems to find attractive. Lorraine is married, is the opposite race than I, she has 2-daughters who supposeily are in there early 20s. Lorraine doesnt tell anyone her age, but that shes in her early forty. Because Lorraine is a good-hearted Christian & is oh so heavily into the Bible, I dont want to call her dishonest, but Lorraine truly looks (& in having many conversations with her) like shes more in her early 30s.
When it comes to religion/Christianity & the Bible I claim complete ignorance! Well, because I was so interested in Lorraine I shared to her my feeling I felt towards her, but I ALWAYS respected that she was married. Even if Lorraine was completely single I wouldnt expect her to be interested in me, but the trouble is that it doesnt change my feelings! Well, she started reading me the Bible & teaching me all about Christianity & it just filled me up inside it was like a high. I still dont exactly know what all had happened, Lorraine told me that I was her friend & that if she felt me pressuring her or clinging to her too much that she herself would come to me. Well, this one day I happened to be in her exercise group, I thought that she was shunning me out & I kept trying to get her attention.
The following day I stayed home because my gut told me that something bad was coming down & it turns out that Lorraine reported me as being disrupted during group. I disagreed, but because Im such an open & honest person the program knew that I liked Lorraine. I went into a major depression, took a month off from the program, & sought treatment.
When I return back to the program immediately I was told no more 1-on-1 time with Lorraine, I wouldnt be in any of her groups, but that she wasnt going to ignore me either. With the help of medication I was able to manage going to the program for about a month, some days Lorraine seem to be attentive towards me, yet other days she wasnt causing me to sink back down into a depression again. Im not saying that its Lorraines fault by no means! And the Center/program consists of on average 38-clients & we are all in one big room, so I cant avoid her.
I always told Lorraine & myself that I would wait until Lorraine came over to me & on some days Lorraine would, yet other days I would get nothing from her. Foolishly & out of desperation I asked (or told) Lorraine that if only she would spend just 5-minutes each day with me & how that would just lift up my spirits. I dont know why, for those of you who might believe in God maybe only God knows why Lorraine touches me emotionally as she does. When I told this to Lorraine I really thought that she understood & was will; Lorraine even commented to me how talking to clients part of her job which it is was in fact.
The following 2-days Lorraine I felt kind of kept her distance from me which hurt, but was ok. Until I overheard Lorraine ask another staff member to take me out to my bus because Lorraine said that she didnt want to & that just crushed me like no one can ever imagine. When I emailed someone in charge at the program about what happened I truly WAS NOT trying to get Lorraine into trouble honestly! I just want them to know how hurtful that was; am I all alone in how I felt. It turns out that the program claims that Im just trying to monopolize all of Lorraines time which I just highly dispute! Im bored here at home, but right now its just too stressful, for m to go to the programI dont understand & have a hard time trusting anyone there.
Im sorry for being so lengthy. Im not looking for anyones pity & Im sure that many may see this situation from Lorraines side or the programs side. I just dont understand & dont see myself asking for a whole lot.
Any correspondence or friendship is welcome & thanks for listening.
Aside from suffering major depression I also have a physical disability, Cerebral Palsy that has been uncommonly progressing within the last 6-years. I have no use of any of my 4-limbs; I use a head-pointer to type & to use a touch screen on my laptop. Doctors believe that I may also be suffering from some other neurological condition that no one can diagnose. Its not my physical declination which as me all depressed, but I get bored & isolated sitting at home.
Although Ive gone to college for a little bit & everybody suggests for me to return, but I simply never had the desire & motivation in going even when I was briefly attending college. It may be a weak excuse, but I dont enjoy reading & forget about studying I just can never focus & my mind wonders. I believe that I know what my emotional issue is & no matter how many times it has occurred & caused me horrific pain I still let myself fall. This may sound very elementary, but no matter where I go theres usually some female (non-physically disabled) who I develop an overwhelming attraction towards which usually turns into a serious obsession. In some ways Im not stupid because I always know & tell myself from day one that the female is not interested in me as I may be & is unavailable. Sometimes I try to hide my feelings & keep them all closed in, but we all know that eventually they blow up. Other times I try just to be friends with the female which is great at first, but then after a while I seem to find myself craving for more & more of their attention from them that just isnt there & sometimes I sense them starting to back away. I NEVER disrespected nor behaved inappropriate towards any of the females; I guess that Im just guilty of always wearing my emotions on my sleeves & they detect it. Do I peruse after them, I honestly dont mean to, I dont intend to, but when Im around them I become more obsess & crave for their attentiveness.
Currently I attend an adult day program just to get myself out of / away from my parents, but I havent gone for a few weeks. The program is mostly elderly folks with Alzheimers or other related conditions, but the personal care there is unspeakable. I did attend at another day program for folks with Cerebral Palsy, but CP is such broad term/category; I just became bored, wanted a change, & didnt care for how some of the other clients (not me) were being treated. Well for the first few months at the new program things were great, but I slowly notice my moods slipping down feeling empty. Meanwhile a new staff member, Lorraine was hire for activities & everyday I felt my emotions gravitating towards her. Lorraine was different than much of the other staff, kind of quiet, secluded, & low-keyed which form some reasons seems to find attractive. Lorraine is married, is the opposite race than I, she has 2-daughters who supposeily are in there early 20s. Lorraine doesnt tell anyone her age, but that shes in her early forty. Because Lorraine is a good-hearted Christian & is oh so heavily into the Bible, I dont want to call her dishonest, but Lorraine truly looks (& in having many conversations with her) like shes more in her early 30s.
When it comes to religion/Christianity & the Bible I claim complete ignorance! Well, because I was so interested in Lorraine I shared to her my feeling I felt towards her, but I ALWAYS respected that she was married. Even if Lorraine was completely single I wouldnt expect her to be interested in me, but the trouble is that it doesnt change my feelings! Well, she started reading me the Bible & teaching me all about Christianity & it just filled me up inside it was like a high. I still dont exactly know what all had happened, Lorraine told me that I was her friend & that if she felt me pressuring her or clinging to her too much that she herself would come to me. Well, this one day I happened to be in her exercise group, I thought that she was shunning me out & I kept trying to get her attention.
The following day I stayed home because my gut told me that something bad was coming down & it turns out that Lorraine reported me as being disrupted during group. I disagreed, but because Im such an open & honest person the program knew that I liked Lorraine. I went into a major depression, took a month off from the program, & sought treatment.
When I return back to the program immediately I was told no more 1-on-1 time with Lorraine, I wouldnt be in any of her groups, but that she wasnt going to ignore me either. With the help of medication I was able to manage going to the program for about a month, some days Lorraine seem to be attentive towards me, yet other days she wasnt causing me to sink back down into a depression again. Im not saying that its Lorraines fault by no means! And the Center/program consists of on average 38-clients & we are all in one big room, so I cant avoid her.
I always told Lorraine & myself that I would wait until Lorraine came over to me & on some days Lorraine would, yet other days I would get nothing from her. Foolishly & out of desperation I asked (or told) Lorraine that if only she would spend just 5-minutes each day with me & how that would just lift up my spirits. I dont know why, for those of you who might believe in God maybe only God knows why Lorraine touches me emotionally as she does. When I told this to Lorraine I really thought that she understood & was will; Lorraine even commented to me how talking to clients part of her job which it is was in fact.
The following 2-days Lorraine I felt kind of kept her distance from me which hurt, but was ok. Until I overheard Lorraine ask another staff member to take me out to my bus because Lorraine said that she didnt want to & that just crushed me like no one can ever imagine. When I emailed someone in charge at the program about what happened I truly WAS NOT trying to get Lorraine into trouble honestly! I just want them to know how hurtful that was; am I all alone in how I felt. It turns out that the program claims that Im just trying to monopolize all of Lorraines time which I just highly dispute! Im bored here at home, but right now its just too stressful, for m to go to the programI dont understand & have a hard time trusting anyone there.
Im sorry for being so lengthy. Im not looking for anyones pity & Im sure that many may see this situation from Lorraines side or the programs side. I just dont understand & dont see myself asking for a whole lot.
Any correspondence or friendship is welcome & thanks for listening.
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Best Wishes
Your disability may make it hard for you to meet others, and depression can certainly color our perceptions about people and our need to be noticed and cared for may be heightened.
I admire you greatly, and hope you find some friends and comfort here, and an ability to grow
there are many people that will suppport you
welcome