today as i write this post i am filled with love for so many wonderful people on this board. i have never seen you but i feel your pain as i feel my own. i have never met you face to face, and yet i know you. it is strange and yet so true. as we approach 2008 i am asking that those on this board reach a new level of wellness. i pray that we all can gain the happiness we so deserve. my heart breaks for those here that hurt so badly from the ravages of depression. i think of the days i stayed drunk for days on end due to pain so intense i could not bare to face it without the insolation of alcohol. i think of the nights i spent crying all alone. i think of the day all alone in the most isolated place i knew to go. a place i went each day at lunch during the days i lost my marriage. nobody ever there, only me. for weeks i went to this place. then one day i went there with the intent to end my life. as i was about to end my life something happened and i have never been the same. a person came to this place and pulled upon the grass in their car. all i could see were the whites of his eyes. he was at least 10 car lengths from me. i don't have great vision and yet his eyes burned into me as if he were in front of me. not a word was spoken but i knew this was someone sent to me to stop me from taking my life. from that day i have decided to live. i may not be where i wish to be. i am a work in progress. i will spend the rest of my life doing all i can to help others to deal with this illness that killed my beautiful sister and almost killed me. happy new year 2008. it will be better. i just know it!!!
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