I just found this site last night, and I have nothing left to lose right? I suffer from depression/anxiety, along with social phobia. I find life so pointless, this is nothing new, I have thought that way since I was able to walk I'm sure. I really find no joy in anything, not my kids(so sad), not my husband, not my family. I have little or no contact with the outside world anymore. I have, in the past 3 years, cut ties to all but one friend (who is more like a little sister). I have been trying recently to rebuild some of my discarded relationships, but it is difficult being I rarely leave my house. I limit myself to telephone and internet conversations, and can't bare to be around happy people. It makes me cry to see people laugh because I only wish I knew how to make the little things count. The hardest part about living this way is having no one that really understands. My parents think its all in my head, and of course I know it is, but I can't just up and walk it off as they believe I can. I feel they really look down on me as a failure in life. I do not need confirmation on that, it is just something you know when you live this way for 20 years. Anyway I am just looking to meet ppl that understand, maybe someone to talk to when I am having a bad day/hr/min and I will do the same in return.
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