For those that have read my home page they know I have a husband and step son that are bipolar. Because of the rollercoaster of a life we have lead in the past,my two children from my previous marriage, my ex and myself all sat down and agreed to let them stay with him on a more full time basis. We still share joint custody, but they are here mainly on weekends etc. At the beginning this broke my heart and I cried alot. Then when I realized that this is what they really needed,it got better. My daughter has always made things difficult for me when I've for forced her to stay more than she wants to so I just gave up. Since this transition, my daughter and I have become very distant. She's very judgmental, always has something rude to say, and is very stubborn. My son is laid back, goes with the flow...but easily persuaded by his sister...his hero. For the past 4-6 months, when I know they are coming I start to get sick to my stomach, a headache and very nervous. I stress myself the day before, scrubbing, cleaning, making everything perfect and never feeling like its good enough. I feel like my daughter is always comparing me to her step mom. She has done a good job with my kids, but has also created a monster.I've gained alot of weight since the birth of my 6 month old and her step mom is a perfect size 4, alot younger than me, and takes her shopping at every whim. I can't compete with that, I'm living in the real world. My daughter has become very close minded as well, always pre-judging, just like step mom. I'm a reader, keep up on current events, interested in lots of things, and her step mom knows small town home cooking and shopping...this is her idol. My daughter is a straight A-A+ student, cross country runner,volleyball player..has lots of potential...she wanted to be a doctor..now wants to be a cosmetologist...guess who used to be that?I can't keep rambling someone just help me with this...I feel everyday is becoming a new sickness.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...