I couldn't do it anymore, I had to walk away from the loud rude lady. Then we got crowded, and it seemed like everything was closing in on me. I walked away and took my break, but I couldn't go back down. I was shaking, and crying incessantly. If I kept myself in that toxic environment I would have ended it tonight. I cannot deal with it anymore. I cannot do more than I already do. I can't sell thousands of dollars of product anymore. At least not right now, and that's why I took an LOA, hopefully my dr approves it, my therapist approves it. I cannot even think straight right now. I did things today that were so airheaded I couldn't even believe it myself in hindsight. I know I am in the abyss, and by now my rope to get out is getting smaller and smaller. I wanted to be strong, and thats why I made myself work when I mentally shouldn't have. I know suicide is not the answer, but I'm constantly thinking about it. I want things to get better, but I'm not sure its even worth the effort to try. I am 100 percent depleted. Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent. Any words of wisdom or encouragement are greatly appreciated.
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