this site controls everything i write, it becomes their property, i wonder? should i say anything? or should i start my own website that doesnt do such things? this site is good though. i came here at one of the most depressed times in my life and found an outlet for my pain and an understanding i hadn't been able to accept so readily before. i dont know why or how but i was without any hope, in one of the most awful places of my life. this site didn't get me out of it but it helped to show me a chance... I felt like i didn't have the courage to end my pain, i was too scared to kill myself, i was trapped. i have so many dreams and desires i have now made them my passions and my work, i do not try and dream but rather put effort behind my work to make the world a better place. there is only one happiness for me and that is helping those in need. too many people go through this world without "something" something is missing in their lives and they feel empty. this is no mistake. mass media has been pushing consumerism on our society for more than fifty years, and before that even but not like it is today. we are told what we need and who we need it from. who to vote for and why. we line up against eachother, pitting our dissatisfacigton against religious ideology.... bush was elected by christians, jews use too much force against palestinians, suicide bombing terrorist muslims and the like. throughout history religion has been an awful scapegoat for the real evil in the world. i am not going to bash anyone, i dont have anything bad to say about any person people or institution in particular. no one person could have ever done this. it has taken the complacency of us all to get this done, pride and greed, allowing ourselves to be tricked fooled fucked and killed time and time again. i have found happiness in my life. i am going to change this world. we have the power to control the world. we must organize and communicate and believe in oneanother, i have nothing but hope now. we can't lose. I'll die before i lose, of old age or a government issued assasins bullet.
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