I feel angry and I want to cry. I was counting the days until I could work again and just when my job started, my daughter went into the hospital. I've been worried sick about her, but she's home and her prognosis is good. She is on homebound instruction (too weak to go to school)which means I had to quit my job right when it started. Part of what she's dealing with involves some mild brain injury which effects her moods and concentration. She gets frustrated and overwhelmed doing school work because prior to getting sick, school work came easily to her. This sounds so selfish, because honestly, I would do anything for my children. But when her moods are angry and rageful, I just want to say, "You're not the only one whose life is messed up and unfair." God, I needed to work because of the depression I suffer from every day. Work helps me. It gets me out of the house. It gives me a schedule. It occupies my mind and makes me feel useful and productive. And I like earning money! But I can't go off on her. She's an amazing girl who is doing her best with a bad situation. I can't lay my guilt on her, because she has a heart of gold and will take on my burdens along with her own. She doesn't need to deal with any more than what she is facing. I'm just so angry because I'm sacraficing a lot, but she is too young to understand or appreciate or even realize it. Some times doing the right thing as a parent really sucks. Thanks for listening to me.
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