About 8 years ago i had an affair and came back home to work all this out.i have also had an anger problem for my entire life but never really knew that it was a problem. a little over a year ago my wife started cutting on her arms and also started having internet affairs. i admit now that i handled the affairs very poorly. my low self worth had me snooping on the computer looking for proof of what i thought was going on and i found lots of sex letters and pics. i was angry and yelled alot about her having a boyfriend and if she wanted to leave just leave, don't do these things while i'm right in the room with you. it turned into an everyday thing of yelling and fighting and she disappeared one night. i found out she had checked herself and the kids into an abused women shelter for emotional abuse. i then filed for divorce and decided to get help for myself. my anger is much better under control now, i don't let it rule me. but anyway about 1 1/2 months later i dropped the divorce and decided to try to rebuild this if she wanted to. she called me up one night and asked me to come get her from the shelter,that she wanted to come home. i offered her many choices about where to stay,her moms-friends-anywhere but with me until she felt comfortable.she said she didnt want to wait, she wanted to come home. we talked about what i was doing to get better and i took responsibility for what i had done but i told her that if she wanted to come home No Affairs.she said alright as long as i didn't treat her like a child. i told her alright and we started living together. now when i say she was on the computer all the time i mean it anywhere from 10 to 16 hours a day she was on there. then i noticed she was acting very secretive whenever i came in the room so i started asking her about it. she was having affairs again and told me that it is not the real problem. the real problem was how she felt scared of me and that was why she was having these affairs.i didnt get angry, i just got hurt and decided to just let it ride and see how it went.they just got worse and worse to where she is now in love with this new guy who lives in another country. she has sex online describing nasty things and dosen't even try to hide it anymore.except opening up new email accounts with their names together and it is driving me mad because every time i express how much this hurts me she tells me that it is not the problem,that i am. that the past doesn't just go away and i am at a loss because i work 2 jobs,take care of the kids,pay the bills,clean the house,and watch her be in love with someone else. i asked her if it was alright if i found someone who was in love with me too as it was alright for her too do it and she said no that she loved me and that would only prove that i don't love her. it is driving me mad and into a depression spiral that is killing me.anyway sorry to go on and on but i really need some help with what to do. thanks
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