I am a new member, and although I do not have depression myself, I came here in hopes of getting advice on how to deal with a partner with depression. My boyfriend has had depression most of his life, and although at first it wasn't affecting our relationship, it is now. He often is so down that I try all that I can to cheer him up. I am aware that this isn't going to fix his problem by any means, but I am always by his side and comforting him when he is down or upset. My problem is this. Lately he has been so negative and pessimistic about everything that it wears on me big time. I have naturally been a pessimistic person and it always helps to have people near me who think positive, but now I am close to someone who just ends up making me feel negatively about things. Also, I feel that he is so down all the time, and although I help him constantly, that my feelings often times are ignored. I know he doesn't mean to, but I will let him tell me how terrible his day was, I will spend a great deal of time telling him all the positive sides to all of it and making sure he is ok. Then when it is my turn to bring up something that has been bothering me or that I am upset about, he just says "oh I'm sorry" or "that sucks" and doesn't ever comfort me or try to make me feel better. He also has a mild form of OCD induced by severe stress. He spends so much of his time cleaning, organizing and making sure everything he needs to get done is done before he can attempt to relax or see how I am doing. Sometimes I will bring up something that has upset me, he will put those things first before me. I know he can't help it, but it just makes him seem so selfish. And my feelings are often ignored. I brought this up to him that I felt my feelings were being ignored and he just got defensive and told me I am just wanting to start arguments and that I am just unsatisfiable. What can or should I do?
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