I'm very aware that I need to be moving forward, taking real steps to improve my life, but every day I find myself in a cloud, and every day I put off making those steps. I can't understand why I do this and why it's so difficult for me to do simple things that everyone else handles with ease. Just a simple thing to start out with would be cleaning up my home. It's a mess. It makes me feel awful living in a mess. But every day I leave it a mess and I don't take any other steps until I've cleaned things up. Sometimes I'll do about a quarter of it and finally convince myself to do the rest tomorrow, and tomorrow that quarter of work I've done gets negated quick. And this is a fairly benign example of a much bigger problems. This incapacity for handling everyday things has left me in big financial trouble. How do I get out of this dark cloud that just makes me want to retreat into apathy and not live as I need to live?
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