Did this directive come from their mom or dad?
If so, or even if it didn\'t, I\'d ask the mom if there was some sort of problem that you may not be aware of.
There is nothing wrong with trying to help a single mom with her kids, especially at her request. But there is a fine line. Everyone can become too attached and there is also the \"surrogate\" issue to deal with.
Unfortunately, people can misread good intentions.
I am now a single mom with 2 boys left at home. I\'d love for someone to be there for them when their dad couldn\'t or wouldn\'t. My problem is, the seperation is so new that I would probably become too attached and find myself in a rebound situation and that wouldn\'t
be good, for anyone. I don\'t remember if you said how long she has been single.
Do you and she still have your friendship, aside from the issue with the kids?

Hi...thank you for replying! She has been single now for around 10 years. She also has A.D.D. and she has difficulty concentrating on things. I think it\'s the fact that the girls are getting older now and don\'t appreciate someone other than Mom or Dad interfering in their affairs anymore. Their Dad is involved in their lives a lot, but the problem is they pretty much get anything they want and are quite spoiled. I\'m just shocked that this happened so quickly. Just a short background on this though - there are 5 kids total in the family - 2 boys ages 25 and 20; and 2 girls ages 21, 14, and 12. At one point the 2 boys had trouble with their Mom and instead of working out the issue, they simply walked away and went to Dad\'s to live permanently. The same goes for the 21 year old daughter, and as recent as Christmas left her mother to cleanup and setup her house for Christmas eve dinner for her family (as well as the kids). And also the Dad just up and left without trying to work anything out, so this whole thing may be a result of the girls just following suit. They have seen everyone in their family walk away from their problems instead of trying to work them out and perhaps they think it\'s the right thing to do. I\'m just very down right now and I need to shake myself out of it. If she thinks that their lives are better without me there then I will respect that and stay away. Their well being is first and foremost. It will be hard though, because I really love them.

Hi...thank you for replying! She has been single now for around 10 years. She also has A.D.D. and she has difficulty concentrating on things. I think it\'s the fact that the girls are getting older now and don\'t appreciate someone other than Mom or Dad interfering in their affairs anymore. Their Dad is involved in their lives a lot, but the problem is they pretty much get anything they want and are quite spoiled. I\'m just shocked that this happened so quickly. Just a short background on this though - there are 5 kids total in the family - 2 boys ages 25 and 20; and 2 girls ages 21, 14, and 12. At one point the 2 boys had trouble with their Mom and instead of working out the issue, they simply walked away and went to Dad\'s to live permanently. The same goes for the 21 year old daughter, and as recent as Christmas left her mother to cleanup and setup her house for Christmas eve dinner for her family (as well as the kids). And also the Dad just up and left without trying to work anything out, so this whole thing may be a result of the girls just following suit. They have seen everyone in their family walk away from their problems instead of trying to work them out and perhaps they think it\'s the right thing to do. I\'m just very down right now and I need to shake myself out of it. If she thinks that their lives are better without me there then I will respect that and stay away. Their well being is first and foremost. It will be hard though, because I really love them.

Well, it sounds like the mom hs been handed the short end of the stick in some ways. It\'s very admirable for you to care so much for someone else\'s children, and I am sure you have concern for the mom, since she has been your friend.
Maybe this will pass and things will be worked out. I don\'t know.
I just think it is great that you have such care and concern for these children. That is what a true friend does. Care about the family as well as the adult.
I wish you the best of luck.

Hi Dazman. Im only going to offer my opinion and advice here so hope I dont upset you. First of all, you sound like a wonderful person, to step up and help that way was great, and she did ask. I just think, that at NO fault of either of you, it may have been one of those \"in the moment\" times. Do you understand? I mean, Im sure she felt completely abandoned and off balance with the older kids and husband just suddenly deciding to up and leave. She was then left with two girls, going into teenage years, maybe possibly giving her a hard time or feeling neglected also...and then here comes you. A breath of fresh air. Her savior---for the time being. She was emotional, confused, and trying to make sure the younger ones still had an adult besides herself to turn to. You stepped up, because you are a good person. Feelings change, emotions change, routines chane, and most importantly, there are different grieving processes when losing a loved one, whether thru death or divorce, or seperation. Maybe she inally got a handle on things and got nervous that she was kind of trying to let qanother man father the children when they have there dad, you know? It was no ones fault, they seem to be getting back on track, and unfortunately it leaves you out. Sometimes when good people try to do the right thing, they end up getting hurt. Your heart got a little more involved as you got closer, and then she decided it was enough. Her choice. Her life, her children---but hurful and wrong for you. Im sorry you are confused and hurt. Stay a good guy!! There are not too many of you left. think positive of the situation, you were there when they needed you. It hurts I know, but pray for them to be happy and move on with your self. Your good deeds are done.