Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am really good friends with my sister in law. But she has been having problems with depression for the past year. It is steadily getting worse. She is now not paying the important bills and is always calling my mother in law for money. Well she called me earlier in the week and asked if I would tell her rental company that she would pay her apartment rent on Thursday morning. I left them a message. I found out yesterday that she still hasnt paid it but instead paid her cell phone bill. Really ticked me off because I laid myself out there for her and she didnt do what she said she would even after I told her I didnt feel comfortable doing it. My husband came home last night and said that he is going to give her three hundred dollars for her rent and his mom is going to give it back to him on Wednesday. I am now in an up roar because she makes more then my husband does and has less expensises because her rent is only half of what ours is and she only has one child. She is also drinking alot and when I suggested meds she said she would rather drink.
So I told her this morning via text message that we need to sit down and talk. I need to tell her that me and her need to sit down and write out a budget for her and that certain bills take priority over others. She told me that she cant do it tonight because she is having movie night at her house. But I also need to talk to her about her drinking because I am concerned for my niece. Her mother isnt spending any time with her. Is always drinking. Blowing her money on Lord only knows what. And she is now starting to leave her at the baby sitters until nine ten oclock at night. As a mom this really concerns me and I know after I talk to her its going to ruin our relationship. But she cant keep asking people for money. She is taking three hundred dollars from us that we dont have to give. I only had thirty dollars to spend on my daughter for her birthday because thats all the extra our budget allowed. Plus christmas is right around the corner and we have no idea how we are going to provide gifts for our children. Please help im reaching my wits end but I dont want to lose the one friendship that I have outside of DS.
So I told her this morning via text message that we need to sit down and talk. I need to tell her that me and her need to sit down and write out a budget for her and that certain bills take priority over others. She told me that she cant do it tonight because she is having movie night at her house. But I also need to talk to her about her drinking because I am concerned for my niece. Her mother isnt spending any time with her. Is always drinking. Blowing her money on Lord only knows what. And she is now starting to leave her at the baby sitters until nine ten oclock at night. As a mom this really concerns me and I know after I talk to her its going to ruin our relationship. But she cant keep asking people for money. She is taking three hundred dollars from us that we dont have to give. I only had thirty dollars to spend on my daughter for her birthday because thats all the extra our budget allowed. Plus christmas is right around the corner and we have no idea how we are going to provide gifts for our children. Please help im reaching my wits end but I dont want to lose the one friendship that I have outside of DS.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Im sure if you spoke to them frankly about your feelings they would understand.
Also show her that your being supportive in trying to help her get better rather than trying to rule her life.
Im sorry to say it but sometimes people just dont want to face the truth sometimes and it may take her some time to come to terms with it.
Osteoron I just wanted to let you know that hes not giving it to his sister so to speak but to his mom who is good for paying it back. We lended her three hundred last year around this time. She never paid it back to us but his mom did. She paid back the three hundred plus another two hundred for our kids for christmas.
I suggest you and your husband make this the last time you help financially, and let her know that.
You cannot change what she does, or her choices, but you can draw your own boundaries and enforce them. For instance, do whatever you want but not on my property etc. If the boyfriend brings drugs to your home ever again call the cops. You can't impose rules on her but you can enforce your own rules about how you want to live your life and what you will and won't allow into it. Your own family finances are suffering because of her irresponsible behavior. Put yourself and your family first and let her dig herself out of the mess she created for herself, that's not your responsibility.
As far as the niece goes, I don't know how old she is, but you could make sure she has your # on her cell phone and tell her to call you ANYTIME and you will come get her if necessary.
Beyond that, an intervention might help, but I have no experience with that.
Rather than talking to her on your own, could you stage a family intervention of sorts where you ALL speak to her? As it seems that there is you, your hubby and your mom-in-law supporting her I think it would be important for all three of you to make sure you're on the same page first in how you are going to deal with things (i.e. no more loans, etc., etc.).
I agree with Bella your niece is a priority, and I too am glad to see your concern for her.
All the best to you. I hope you find answers/resolution to this difficult family situation.