To whomever finds me like this,
Im finally goneIf you want to know my reasonshere they are:
1. I finally quit my job. Its been a long time, but I finally quit. I never wanted to be an engineer in the first place, and why should I continueits not like Im good at it any way. I only studied engineering because I thought that was the only what that I could go get a college education. My mom threatened not to pay for it, if I didnt study it. She also said that it was her dream for her son to be an engineerwhich was a complete lie. So I finally did it, got the first part of my license, and finished school. When I finally got a good paying job that I was happy with and proud of, she still said something about it. That was the final insult. Thats how I knew what she told me was a complete lie. It was never her dream for her son to be an engineer, her only dream is that I make a lot of moneyno matter what profession it would be. Why would you push your own kid into something he was so against only to change your mind at the very end.
2. Mom, I hate you so much for what you did to me. When I was finally proud to be an engineer, you ruined it for me. Like you always do. You always change your mind when I finally do something. Everytime, without fail. I wish you knew what a delicate balancing act it was, and how hard and how long it took me to get there. I wish you knew how NOT EASY IT WAS, and how many sleep-less nights I spent doing what you wanted. It only looks easy. But no, you just expected me to change in just a few seconds. That comment about my signing bonus still hurts me a lot. I did this because I want you to feel the pain that you caused me. You said that it was your dream that your son was an engineer, now not only did I take that dream away, but now you have no son. No one to argue with any more, no one to fight with any more, no more son. No one to be proud of any more. Your son ended his lifeI doubt thats something to really be proud of. I wish that when I started college, that you supported my dreamI mean how many kids had a dream like mine, and had it planned it, and wanted to do it, and be successful at it. And if I was this successful at something that you wantedhow much more if I had followed my own dream and my own passion.
3. I wish you knew how hard I worked at making college work for both of us, but maybe this will make you realize it. Maybe now youll finally understand. You have your degree, and whatever else you wanted. So in the end, I guess I did do what I wantend my own life. It was the only choice I really have.
Maybe Ill see you sometime
-arjay


good bye everyone!