Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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MY PAST

deleted_user
deleted_user
Well it all began when I was around nine years old and didn't end till I was about 12 yrs old.......I am now 29..........I was molested and raped by one of my family members......and back then in a hispanic family you didn't tell anybody about what happened to you......So I went ahead and told my dad and he took care of it like he said he would......and he sent the person that did all of that crap to me on his way and said to never return home........and now that he was out of my life I went on living my life with out talking to anybody about the situation I threw down in me and forgot about it that is all I could do b/c nobody would allow me to tell my story......but when I was around 16 he returned home and all of those feelings of abuse returned and I had leave home b/c I couldn't stand looking at him or even see him hold my sisters and tell them that he loved them and missed them......so I moved in with my boyfriend then and he understood what I had went through and he always was there to protect me and we had a good relationship........but then he used me too and he cheated on me several times before we actually had our first daughter......and when we had Justine I told him that I wanted to move out of the town and into a bigger town where nobody knew us and we could start all over.....so we did and we then had another daughter and everything was great till one day when I realized that my love for Jason was mechanical and I was no be treated the way I wanted and not being loved the way he had loved me in the beging......so after 11yrs with Jason I met Travis......and we have now been together for almost 2 yrs........and everything that I went through never got spoken about or rather I never got answers from anybody so all of the disgust and torment lay dormaint and now it is effecting the loving relationship that I have with Travis and I'm not sure what to do........My Dad who took care of it then says to leave it where it is at and not to stir up things and make things worse for myself.......and I'm not sure if I should do that again.......so I need anybodys advice right now........if you have any solutions please help.............
deleted_user
deleted_user
my love for Jason was mechanical and I was no be treated the way I wanted and not being loved the way he had loved me in the beging......so after 11yrs with Jason I met Travis...

How come you had 11 years with Travis without all these feelings?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand. I was molested for years from a family member. I say tell it. Fuck anyone it hurts by letting it out, because I know that it is killing you inside. If you finally have that urge to get it out, then LET IT OUT. I don't let it out in the "real world", and I also have Bipolar Disorder, but I think holding this in is keeping me from getting to the place I need to be.

Have you been honest with Travis like you were Jason? Does he know what happened?
deleted_user
deleted_user
With Jason we didn't talk about it much.....he knew about the situatuion and protected me from him when he came around and he also protected our girls when he came around....With Travis he is open to my feelings and wants me to talk about it to let it go.....so I can move on ........but it's a hard thing to do........when somebody is willing to listen after 11 yrs with jason he was never willing to talk about it just to protect me....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sexual abuse causes traumatic psychological damage, period. (Rape, molestation, etc.) The damage does not magically go away. Counseling can help greatly in overcoming the damage done. Don't let fear prevent you from reaching out for that help. Kind regards, from one who has been there.
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