Some background info:
me and my Fiancé have been together for over five years. When we first met, we were madly in love, taking many adventures, etc. We both live in the suburbs of a large Canadian City, and over the last year, my partner has wanted to move away to a small community as she can no longer tolerate the busy and dense nature of the city and its suburbs.
further, she wants to move because she was treated horribly by my single mom, who called her many demeaning things when she was nothing but kind and curteous to my mom and wanted to have a relationship with her. since that incident over a year ago, i became estranged with my mom.
my mom demeaned my Partner’s demeanor, made her feel worthless, and she now suffers from anxiety and depression. When we drive, if something startles her, she questions the situation over and over until she feels content that we didnt do anything wrong:
this happens whenever there is a pedestrian or biker along the shoulder of a dark road, or if we cut someone off, she needs reassurance that they are not mad at us, and that i didnt hit them.
This all started happening after the situation with my mom.
the problem is, that i love where we live, but my partner says she cant completely heal and get her worth back until we leave this city, and we move to a small town, she claims i can make less money, and we can afford a home, and be happy, but i have a very well paying job, i can afford the expensive housing market, and want to stay, but she says she couldnt be happy 100% unless we leave, which has led to many fights, and i feel she wont be able to cope with her anxiety or depression unless i give up my job and leave. What do i do here?
im also stressed and anxious because my partner will not allow my mom to attend our wedding, and im not sure how leaving her out will do to our relationship, but i support her, and am excluding her. The thought of making amends with my mom makes my partner feel more anxious and it brings back all the doubts, and she doesnt seem to support me trying to make amends, because she cant forgive my mom
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