For some reason this statement just keeps on ringing in my head. I've recently just moved back to a town I lived in for 4 years after moving away for 3 months. I was in drugs pretty bad and came back to clean up. In five weeks I made a lot of good steps at the beginning... but then I seemed to plateau. I got a job, but I don't start until Sunday. I have no money. No food, and nothing really to do. I've even tried to volunteer at places but it just seems so hard. I know I messed up, but I am trying so hard. I have no way to make money quick. Even when I start working on Sunday it will be weeks before my first paycheck. I used to strip for money, but I can't do that anymore. Not only do I just feel horrible about ever doing it, but my boyfriend would break up with me if I ever did it again. I don't know what to do. I need money for food and rent. I even tried to get food stamps but that is even taking forever. I'm at the end of my rope. Taking my life, just seems so easy now. What can I do? I'm so depressed, I'm not in a depression like I have been, I'm just down. And I just can't seem to get back on track, as hard as I try. I'm not working yet, I have no money, I'm bored, and so lost. I just don't know what to do anymore. I could go home, but what is that going to do? Temporarily it may help, but home is 7 hours away. I'd go see my sister an hour and a half away, but she just had a baby, she doesn't need me to burden her. Thing is, I just want to be working, volunteering, helping people, something! I have a good heart... why is it so hard to do something to benefit society. I feel like such a loser.
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