i just want to ask why do i bother doing anything if it always turns out bad...nothing in my life has been a truly happy experience...there is always some dissappointment even in the so called best moments of my life...i really have nothing to live for....nothing to hold on to....no one who understands...its okay though...one day GOD will put me out of my misery....this hell that i am living in and if not i will do it myself....all by myself...i hope...havent been successful yet but i am hoping for success at least once in my life in the depression department...i wonder if anyone feels the way i do...i feel so udderly and completely lost to the world....right now i am just existing and i dont know for what anymore...i used to know why i wanted to live but now i am not so sure...myabe someone...something...can help me but i dont really believe in anything anymore...i believe in GOD but i just feel like he punishes me over and over again and so does the Devil....so how can i ever win...it is hell on earth either way i look at it...so why do i bother breathing...what is there to fight for anymore??????
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