the first weekend of 2007 that lead to depression most likely (sorry for the spelling errors) me and my friends rented a cabin, we did it mostly to smoke alot pot , I used to smoke pot about every day and we smoked alot those 3 days at the cabin, the last night i got so high and i been high before and i had freaked out on weed before years before that but i wasn't a novice and i can handle my weed but i dunno those 3 days i got only like 12 hours of sleep out of 72 and ate just junk food and sugar and caffiene and my stomach started to hurt and then right before everyone went to sleep i started freaking out first i though it was just the weed but this was worse than ever and i didn't want to wake anybody up im pretty sure i was having a panic or axniety attack and i couldn't control myself i treid cold shower and evrything and nothing was working and istarted dry heaving and i went threw about 4 hours of that wich is the worst thing i think i ever went threw mental or physical, finaly after falling asleep i work and still felt wierd diffrent, i though it was the weed and it would go away but days turned to weeks turned to months and it didn't i just felt diffrent and three months have passed and i had a couple times were i got or came close to getting minor panic or axiety attacks and started having sleeping problems and some fatuige so i went to the docotor and he prescribed me clonidine wich is for high blood preasure and lexupro wich is anti axiety anti depressent i decided not to take the lexupro because i read about it and it had so may side effects, around spring and summer i started felling better but i also herd that warmth seasons help depression and i smoked weed way less and sometimes when i even smoked it it felt a panic attack coming on a couple times but but i still felt diffrent and after summer in fall after thankgiving i lost my job but i didn't care because i never needed or really liked it so i started sleeping way more like nine hours a day insted of the ushale six i used to get and then i noticed my temeper wich all of 2007 gotten worse but not twards everybody and pass couple months not i have gotten ocd pretty bad and i think it makes the depression worse and started lossing wieght and eating 1 time per day i mean i never ate many meals ushaley 2 or 3 big ones a day never been healthy but since all i do is sleep and sometimes hang out with freinds and beetween that ii have ocd things that i do i only get time to eat once a day and now it got so bad even when i have eat only once and i can eat my stomach hurts and i can't and i feel like im about to have a anxiety or panic when i do my ocd but i can't stop and i dunno what i actuley want but i have not smoked weed since august and i right now i just don't feel happy even when i have nothing to be sad about i just felt like shit all of 2007 pretty much and i wanna go back to being me i me i am still me and i still got intrest in my stuff but right now i don't have as much intrest as i always used and and i also been having very realastic dreams wich i read can be part of dression so i dunno i think im gonna make a doctors apointment after new years and mabey start taking the lexupro i dunno does anyone have any advice or tips or anything thanks you
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