My first depression was at age 19. I had several reoccurrences and then had a ten year depression from age 27 on. Somehow I got on prozac and life was beautiful again. For the first time in years I was truly happy. Every day was like Christmas for at least a year. About 7 years later the prozac stopped working. Then I went on effexor and it stopped working. My underlying depression was so much worse I actually ended up in the hospital for the first time at age 51! I have been depressed now for 2 1/2 years. This depression is so bad that it is actually dangerous for me to go off of the effexor which partially helps. I mean this depression is a potential killer. It scares me when I feel worse. Terrifies me actually. This depression has become THE ENEMY. It is robbing me of my life, strikes hard out of the blue, and is terrifying in its manifestations: terrible fear, crying, sense of not being able to care for self. A person I know a bit pointed out that she thought I was lonely. I realize that she is right. I have NO ONE in this life. My parents are dead and I have no one else. No friends. I find that when people discover how depressed I am they never initiate contact anymore. Keep in mind, I have a great social face I can put on--I am funny, smart etc---so it is not like I am Ms. Sad all of the time. I just don\'t know how to get out of this depression. They have tried everything. I am thinking of ect but have NO ONE to drive me to the hospital. That makes me so sad I am crying right now. I am totally alone and I am afraid it will always be that way because of this horrible horrible SOB disease called depression. It has ruined my life. Any words of support would be appreciated. Robyn
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