I think we all know how depression has a way of turning even the sweetest people into complete psycopaths at times. And I'm not the sweetest person. Anyway, during one of my mood swings, one that happened quite a while ago, apparently I really ticked off the 'bf' and he's been holding a grudge ever since. I, on the other hand, having expended my emotional diarrhea, was better and thought everything was fine. Unbeknownst to me, however, I have been on double secret probation all this time, and if I screw up too much, I'm out. Yet, I'm an emotional ticking time bomb, and now that I know that I'm on the line, I feel like just taking a nice big leap over just to get it over with and be alone again. Yet he says he still "likes" me even if he doesn't "love" me anymore. And its up to me to keep my depression and neuortic tendancies in check... (and what, maybe I can win that love back?) So what do I do? Ride the wave, stay in the relationship, and see when (or if) I hit the rocks - or dive off the deep end right now, run away, and hope to hell I don't get pulled off by the current (of emotional turmoil that is)? Ah, I love metaphors.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I've had a few accounts over the years. I would be having lots of nice connections and feel like its all working and then something would trigger some episode of crazy depresssion and id just stop everything. feel like im doing ok now and just needed to com back to ds. i missed you guys. you spirit and your strength helped me through some very rough times. i just want to let all of you know the...