Last year was one of the darkest that ive had in along time. My brothers girlfriend moved into my brothers and my house and raised hell! She completely took over, started donating all my parents stuff to good will, redecorated the whole house and had parties everynite till the small hours of the day! She even brought drugs into the house and got my brother to use them and to get drunk even though he was three times convicted of dui and had vowed he would never go back to drinking again! I would try to talk to my brother, but he didnt care...he thought life couldnt be rosier if it tried! I also talked to my parents because i couldnt sleep at nite and was having health issues because they couldnt care less if they were disturbing me. My parents reaction was to say "suck it up". This really was a painful blow to me as i was close to my parents and thought that they cared how i felt, but apparently they didnt. I was up evernite crying, asking god why he felt he had to punish me. It got to the point where i was acting out against them, knocking on the walls to get them to be quiet, pulling pranks to try and get their attention and let them know how i felt. It got really bad when i overheard my parents talking and saying "what in hell are we going to do with her" i felt like if i disappeared tomorow, they would all be happy, like i dont count, my feelings dont matter to anyone, like i was a millstone around their necks dragging them down. I tried talking with my boyfriend, but he doesnt understand and said i should be grateful to have a roof over my head. At last, i felt like i had enough and tried to overdose on medicine. I was horridly sick for three day, throwing up blood, unable to eat, drink, or sleep in constant pain and feeling like i would die. For those three days, noone even noticed i was missing!!! Not my brother, my boyfriend, my work...noone! I was feeling so low all i could do was cry hystarically until i passed out on my bed. My whole body hurt and i felt afraid i would never come out of my depression. I felt so totally alone, noone understood me...Alot of the time i slept in my car to get away from the house...i wanted no part of them. I also found out my emotionally abusive ex was married and living the goodlife down south with his wife...which made me question further why he was being rewarded for making my life hell. I want to have a strong faith, but its so hard when i see all those around me that hurt me being rewarded for their sins.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I've had a few accounts over the years. I would be having lots of nice connections and feel like its all working and then something would trigger some episode of crazy depresssion and id just stop everything. feel like im doing ok now and just needed to com back to ds. i missed you guys. you spirit and your strength helped me through some very rough times. i just want to let all of you know the...