I am just so confused and scared and all these feelings all bundled together and I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do....all of you have given me advice and suggestions about what to do in my situation, but I can't make sense of any of it. One of the main things I've heard is "think positively" but the only issue I seem to be stumbling over is this: how do I think positively, and when I accomplish that, how do I make myself believe that positive thought? Just because I say "today is going to be a good day" doesn't mean at all that my mind believes that, it's just a lie, nor does it mean that today really is going to be a good day. I just can't figure that out. I don't know how to make myself a better person. I just want to be happy....and I can't see it happening. I have everything a person could want....except a decent job, but that's not the point. Point is that I can't find happiness in my life, and I can't stand it anymore....it's making me miserable that I am not how I used to be. I have this horrible feeling that doesn't seem to go away and it is destroying me. I just don't know what to do....I am so lost and confused and hurt and dammit I'm going crazy. Does anybody have anything else that might be able to help me>? I'm so desperate.....I need help and I can't even get that.....I don't even know why I post this because it sounds like my last 30 posts on here and nothing has changed....I feel now like I am just wasting all of your time because this is like a broken record I know.
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