Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Sometimes I want to die, and then other times I thank God for giving me life.
I use to love my life. I know GOD created me for a reason, and I know that life is a gift from God. I forget that sometimes. I contemplated suicide for months after I lost my mom, I went as far as to prepay for my funeral and I made a list of my last wishes,and even took letters to be read at my funeral service. I took care of everything. The one thing that stopped me from it is my faith in GOD, and knowing the love God has for me, is stronger than the need to die. I have grieved over my loss for almost a year and with every day that passes it gets worse. I need a reason to live. The only reason I can find is that GOD loves me, and wants me to,and for now that's good enough!
My Mom passed away on 12/01/06, the one year point will soon be here and I am having those feeling again. I can't stop thinking about it, I dread the month of December, I don't want it to come. I use to love this time of year, and now I hate it, I hate it so much, I can't look at a Christmas tree without bursting into tears, I can't bring myself to do any Christmas shopping, I can't even go into the holiday department at wal-mart or any other department store.
Does anyone else dread the holidays? like me.
I use to love my life. I know GOD created me for a reason, and I know that life is a gift from God. I forget that sometimes. I contemplated suicide for months after I lost my mom, I went as far as to prepay for my funeral and I made a list of my last wishes,and even took letters to be read at my funeral service. I took care of everything. The one thing that stopped me from it is my faith in GOD, and knowing the love God has for me, is stronger than the need to die. I have grieved over my loss for almost a year and with every day that passes it gets worse. I need a reason to live. The only reason I can find is that GOD loves me, and wants me to,and for now that's good enough!
My Mom passed away on 12/01/06, the one year point will soon be here and I am having those feeling again. I can't stop thinking about it, I dread the month of December, I don't want it to come. I use to love this time of year, and now I hate it, I hate it so much, I can't look at a Christmas tree without bursting into tears, I can't bring myself to do any Christmas shopping, I can't even go into the holiday department at wal-mart or any other department store.
Does anyone else dread the holidays? like me.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
It is okay to leave the past in the past in the past. I would never want anyone to suffer year after year once I am gone and I don't think anyone has that expectation of any one who survives themselves.
A friend of mine devised a good strategy. She does a private ceremony for the loss of her father and then stays in the present with the rest of us during the holiday time.
Each person finds their own way to cope with a significant loss.
My grandfather died on Christmas day when I was 16 and for years it was a sad time but we had the memory that he'd had a great day before he died which helped to ease the pain somewhat. One of my nephews committed suicide on Christmas about ten years ago and that put a whole new spin on this time of year for the whole family.
My 18 year old neice died shortly after New Years six years ago from lukemia so that just seemed to mix in with all the other pain we felt around that time do to other deaths or birthdays of those who had died.
I think sometimes people hope for to much at this time of year and we put to much additional stress on us.
I don't dread the holidays but I do understand that for all the joy there will forever be an undercurrent of pain and loss even during the best years.
i am so glad you bought this up cause the holidays are hard for me also.......i have thought of all the things you have mentioned but never had the nerve to write them down.....we jus need to stick together during this hard time.......i am here ....any little thing
hugs my friend
stormy
im so so sorry abowt ur mum.
i lost my mum 2 and its really really hard.
the anniversary will be hard, and so will christmas. mine are.
BUT u will get through it.......before you know it it will be over and slightly easier the next year.
im around if u wanna message me and talk abowt anything.
i know how it feels 2 lose someone u love so much and im so so sorry ur hurting.
xxxxxxxxxxx