That is really hard. I don't know if it is the depression or just plain lonliness. I hope you feel better. You are in the right place for support.

His shifts are really hard to deal with because he dosnt work a "normal" 9-5 job. Im a needy woman always have been always will be. I feel so empty when hes not around. But when hes here with me I feel so alive and fulfilled.

we aren't easy.... I know first hand.

I haven't decided if I am being divorced because I am a firefighter

or

am I being divorced because I'm me.


anyways Moon .... go watch the video that sja posted... and remember that we are men.

Cap, I must say. Your wife (or soon to be ex) doesn't deserve you. She should be proud of you being a fireman, and you are just to sweet to be bad.

Moon, hang in there. You are so lucky to have such a selfless man to be with. I am sure he does not like being away from you as much as you miss him. I know it is not easy, but you are strong and can get through this.

being a firefighter is you. I knew that when I married my husband. Being a firefighter is as much to being who he is as being a man. Its not something I would ever change. Dont blame your divorce on yourself Cap. A marriage takes two people not just one.

moon.... just think how proud you are of him for saving the world..... I know it doesn't help your lonliness but he's doing good work....

Oh moonlilly, I'm sorry you are missing your honey....Watch the video...and grab a cup of tea?...something you love.....

Moonlily...this might be easy to grasp right now, because you're feelin' a bit blue and lonesome, but I am going to venture that part of your life's lesson is be less of a "needy" type of person. I'm willing to bet that you are pretty strong already, and can manage A OK at times. It's totally normal to want to be with your husband.
I think you should give yourself more credit for being a supportive and selfless wife who understands the demands taken upon a firefighter. He may be your hero and others...but so are you!

I am extreamly proud of him. I love him with all my heart. But these shifts are really hard on the wives of the firefighters. And even when they arnt being paid to save the world the pager is always going off and they are running out of the house to volunteer their time saving the world leaving the spouces at home alone again. The life of a firefighters spouce is a lonely one. It feels selfish for wanting him here with me when I know hes doing so much good and its just part of who he is. *sighs*

Forgive me, I meant, this might NOT be easy to ...
I hope you feel better soon.

Moon, so you have friends among the other firefighters' wives? Maybe you could find something fun to do with someone whose spouse is also working. It will help you and your husband if you find some interests outside of your relationship so that you are not quite so needy. I mean that in the nicest possible way, and please understand this is coming from someone who has been there.

I would but that is another issue all in itself. My husband wont even take me to the banquet every may. Its like im the troll who lives under the bridge. But I dont want to think about that right now. Gets me more upset.

I know I am entering this discussion late, but I can so relate to you moonlily. My husband has been gone since early Tursday morning, and won't be back until Tuesday evening. I am responsible for everything while he is gone, everything falls on my shoulders while he is away. I miss laying in his arms thinking of what vacation we would like to go on for our second honeymoon, and just watching him play with out boys.

Moonlily, when you're feeling better about things talk about what's really making you feel the way you do. Maybe you just hinted at what might be the "tip of the iceberg" but anyone with an ounce of sense knows that you just opened pandora's box...I don't wish to make anything out it...but don't ignore the obvious OK? Sounds like there are some
bigger issues to tackle at a later date.
Best to you and good night.

Oops that last sentance should read "and watch him out playing with the boys."

sorry I am a little cross eyed from the pain meds I guess. LOL