Just me the annoying excessive poster again lol...just feeling rubbish as its 6.15am and im still wide awake and just got off the phone to the crisis team who weren't particularly concerned about the subject matter (see journal entry) that i raised with them. or if they were they chose not to do anything about it. Same old same old. I need to change direction if i want to have any chance of surviving this shitty rollercoaster ride...but that weird little suicide bug digs deeper into my brain and eats away all the hopes and dreams and survival instinct. once it starts chomping its unstoppable. im incredibly scared. short of locking myself in a room made of foam for the rest of my life i dont know how im going to stop this...
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