Ive lost a decade and my whole self worth to pain and pain killers.
Im in mid life and I just dont see the point of working 20 years just to spend my least best years not working. Ive been off work 9 years now. I dont have kids. I dont have family. I have nothing. Life seems pointless.
I dont feel suicidal though.
So I feel this melancholy malaise. And I have done for 10 years now.
Does that make sense?
I have a friend that, overall, is a great friend, very supportive. But the last two times we've tried to get together for an online chat, she showed up over an hour late without letting me know she was running behind. I know she has a busy job that takes precedence, but I saw her online while I was waiting for her, so she could have sent me a quick text to let me know what was going on instead of...
The problem is due to childhood complex PTSD I find relationships hard, Im not a person who makes friends easily And most are sick of me being sick by now.I have an intensified feeling of Malaise and Melancholy depression. Im not sure if the opiates are making it worse with up and down dopamine and endorphins then a slight withdrawal before I pick up my weekly scripts on a Saturday/Sunday its at...