That is huge! In a good way! So happy for you :)

All you can do right now is breathe. Don't even think about the appointment (easier said than done, I know).

Once you're there...who knows. Just go with what you're feeling.

Big hugs

Good for you about making the appt! I'm sorry you're dealing with so much anxiety from it. I too am the same way. I always put off going to the dr or therapist, because I have a difficult time opening up to people (even my family) I always feel like people are judging me. My advice is try to breathe and relax. Things always seem worse than they really are. I'm sure once you get through your first appt you will feel a big relief because then you will know what to expect going forward. They are there to help you, not judge you. I just take it one step at a time, telling my therapist whatever I feel like I can let go of, and maybe next time tell her a little more. Try and be strong (I know it's tough)... what might seem simple and no big deal to most, can be terrifying to others. It's ok to feel that way, but just realize you have to take that first step to get better :) Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes :)

idk weather i should mention the stalking.. or just say im feeling depressed. im afraid that ill just get labelled with depression again when i suspect theres something more going on.. but if i tell anyone about the stalking it would defiantly have to be a mental health professional certainly not my family dr!!

what do i say?....

proud of you, its a big step!

I am very proud of you - best wishes

I wish I could be there to hold your hand but that would be enabling which would kind of defeat the purpose.

That's awesome you've made an appointment! It took me a while to gather up the courage to do so the first time I did. And I had much anxiety when I went in as well! Just talk about what's bothering you. Once you feel comfortable with them you'll be able to talk about more stuff. And if you don't feel comfortable with them after a few sessions, don't feel bad about switching to another therapist - they completely understand. Give them a chance, though, and give yourself a chance. You WILL feel better, you're already working for yourself instead of against yourself!

Good for you for making the appt! Huge step..if I lived near you I would go with you for moral support. Know that we are all behind you...you can do this. ((hugs))

Im proud of you girl... just take it one step at a time................ one breath at a time......good luck

It's up to you what to share and how soon. If it was me, I would mention the stalking right away, since that sort of flags it in your mind as being over, and something that you're gonna work on.

Just go at your own pace. If you have to force yourself, try forcing the least intense things first, if that makes sense. Sharing something small may make it easier to share the big stuff later on.

god im such a screw up sometimes.
i got so anxious about the appt last night and the anxiety kind of manifested into anger. bubbling door slamming hands shaking kind of anger. i got really high to calm down and ended up breaking my window. felt really pathetic because im always fucking up like this, cut my wrist now have to find a way to hide it because its obvious their self inflicted. now i have to go to work and find a way to tell my parents i smashed the window when their trying really hard to get this house on the market.

worst bit is i keep looking at the glass thinking... wondering how good it would be to cut with it..

You're not pathetic, and we all screw up sometimes.

Cover the window so you're not tempted by the glass.

They probably won't take it quite as hard if you offer to pay for it...if that's an option. If you dont' have the money, maybe offer to work it off? I don't know, just an idea.

I wouldn't hide the cuts. If you're clear with your doctor that you weren't trying to kill yourself, that you are a cutter, they most likely won't do anything drastic like putting you in the hospital. It's up to you though. You can always wear long sleeves.

If you don't show them the cuts (since they're on your wrists...might be a little harder to convince somebody that it wasn't a suicide thing) I would at least definitely tell them that you cut. They need to know this stuff.

Hugs to you.

its not the money my parents would care about even though i will offer to pay anyway.

im not worried about the dr seeing my cuts i cant say im completely ok with that i just dont like other people like my boss seeing. and i know they wouldn't admit me cuz the cuts aren't very deep. but thank you.