Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am very new to this, I guess I'm also kind of hesitant but here I go. I'm not exactly sure what to write but I know where I want to start.
The last time I was happy, I don't mean that I've never had a happy day or event, but continualy happy, was when I was pregnant and just shortly after. I had twins and long story short the three of us had lots of problems, one of the boys was going on 2 months old before he came home. I was ok at first, there was so much to do, I was soo busy I don't think I had time to be upset, but now I do. It just keeps getting worse, sometimes I am fine, having a really good day when all of a sudden I feel like someone has just flipped a switch, I am furious, with something small, maybe even for literally no reason, I just am so mad...so mad it just hurts. I don't want to kill myself, I love my family (hubby and 3 kids) and I don't want to miss my little ones grow up, but sometimes I think that's all that keeps me goign. I've been cutting myself...not my writsts...my legs...not sure why that matters but maybe it does. My hubby is so upset, he doesn't know what to do but he tries soooo hard. I just get mad/upset and it releives it, it's like I concentrate on it and the physical pain outweighs the emotional turmoil...does any of this make sense to anyone else or am I jsut as stupid as I feel???
I just want to feel like someone at least kind of understands...the only person who knows is my hubby, and I feel like he can only handle so much, I have no one to talk to about it all.
Sorry so long.
The last time I was happy, I don't mean that I've never had a happy day or event, but continualy happy, was when I was pregnant and just shortly after. I had twins and long story short the three of us had lots of problems, one of the boys was going on 2 months old before he came home. I was ok at first, there was so much to do, I was soo busy I don't think I had time to be upset, but now I do. It just keeps getting worse, sometimes I am fine, having a really good day when all of a sudden I feel like someone has just flipped a switch, I am furious, with something small, maybe even for literally no reason, I just am so mad...so mad it just hurts. I don't want to kill myself, I love my family (hubby and 3 kids) and I don't want to miss my little ones grow up, but sometimes I think that's all that keeps me goign. I've been cutting myself...not my writsts...my legs...not sure why that matters but maybe it does. My hubby is so upset, he doesn't know what to do but he tries soooo hard. I just get mad/upset and it releives it, it's like I concentrate on it and the physical pain outweighs the emotional turmoil...does any of this make sense to anyone else or am I jsut as stupid as I feel???
I just want to feel like someone at least kind of understands...the only person who knows is my hubby, and I feel like he can only handle so much, I have no one to talk to about it all.
Sorry so long.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I know you already know this but you should really talk to a dr. For your kids sake if not your own. The cutting is a sign of how deep this goes. You need meds and to talk to someone. Nothing wrong with that, happens to a lot of people and a lot of new moms.
I strongly advise a dr but either way there are a lot of good people here and we will certainly listne and try to help.
How are your babies now????
I understand....
My boys oar basically good. At borth they weighed 2 and 4 pounds, now they are at about 19 and 25 pounds ...they turned two on Monday. The littler one has had a lot of problems, he had heart surgery at 3 weeks, but oither than yearly check-ups so far all is well there. He had a cleft pallet and ear problems (has to have tubes, very minor issue) he had a few urology problems...still a minor problem that has to be monitored with one kidney. He only weighs 19 or 20 pounds, he dances around but has never hit 21. He also has enviornmental allergies and Asthma. Every day I look at him and thank God that he is with us, that both of them are (they didn't expect either of them to make it and I had lots of problems too.) They talked about me terminating, at least one of them, and I refused, my hubby tried to talk to me about it, not becauwse he wanted to but because he was afraid of losing me and them too and he was so great he told me all the time in the begining that things would be okay, but that we could always try again, but I refused, I told the Dr I'd die before they took one of them...thank God I held my ground. Anyweays, I always feel like it is my fault that he has problems, I guess that I know it's not soemwhere inside me, but it was my body that didn't take care of them, I couldn't do the one thing that only I (rather than my hubby) can do, they were 6 weeks early and I had been in the hosp on bedrest for alomost 7 weeks.
Sorry, I think I went into more detail than intended but I guess that's okay.