Recently, I attempted suicide. Actually, I died twice, and am lucky to be alive now and am perfectly healthy, at least physically. But because of my attempt, I lost my fiance, had to transfer from the job I loved 700 miles away to live with my parents. I have no friends. The friends I had at my old home quit contacting me after a week or so. I am trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, but it just feels like I am being punished for what I did.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...