I have friends in real life, I can count them on one hand and have enough left to pick my nose and flip some guy off for making a comment about me doing it, TRUE friends ya know? the kind that will help you move and really not mind. try to loan you money even though you didn't ask for it and they know you wont take it. people outside my wife and kids that i actually CARE about, I have true friends on DS i would need both hands and a few toes to count them, not that they would help me move or try to loan me money, but i have said things to them about me that i have NEVER said to my friends IRL and they still show me compassion and understanding and I LOVE THEM for that! My wife and children are wonderful and supportive and fun and beautiful, I live in my own house (well the banks house but it will be mine eventually) its not fancy or big, but its nice and a home, I have a couple jobs where I am needed, my old dog follows me around the house just so she can sleep in whatever room i am in, and yet I have been crying non stop since i woke up an hour ago and i feel like suckin on a 12 guage (I won't don't worry, I know enough to know this will pass) yes this will pass but What in the flyin fuck? why the fuck is it even here? I had such an awesome last 36 hours and now all i want to do is figure out a way to make it look like an accident. its so cruel, and i HATE it i wish it were something tangible that i could get my hands on and destroy, oh what pleasure that would be, what bliss, make IT suffer and i surely would derive unhealthy and perverse pleasure at watching this thing scream in agony, smiling at It as It pleads for mercy in its death spasms, where was your mercy you wretched and evil thing, you have made me like you, but only for this moment, once you are gone and you remains are discarded, probably buried in salt to make sure whats left of you could never pretend to nourish but then contaminate life in any form. then I will truly be free, and i would never again think one thought of you, it would be like you never existed,
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