In Fellowship of the Rings, there is a line that goes "Let all grace given to me pass through to him." In my case, to my friends. I'd lay down my life for them. They were so good to me. I'll never see the likes of them again. All I can visualize is them driving off into the sunlight alone, without me and not looking back. It hurts so much it seems too much to bear. I've had suicidal thoughts. That scares me.
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