
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
i have fallen too far rent is overdue school is shot no food in the fridge sweat pants are the only thing i wear anymore.
i have paxil adn trazodone to help me "deal" with things but i cant i dont know what else to do i feel like i am letting my life just get as low as it can go just to see how low it is before i just totally break...
i have an offer to move to another city not too far from here to live with my aunt, the invitation does not extend to my husband. he isnt a favorite in my family right now he has been sick for quite a few years and out of work for 4 years i am 21 years old and i would like to say i knew what i was getting into when i agreed to be with him at the age of 17 and then when i agreed to marry him at the age of 19. his age (36).
but maybe i didnt and still dont. i have been thru many jobs and am finding it hard to even want to work anymore my gpa is dropped beyond a point i ever dreamed.
he needs to get with his stuff he has been off of hepc interferon treatment for 1 year and a half and i dont know if i can heal myself and him at the same time and i dont see him even attempting to heal himself i am going to a psych and counseling and he has neglected to go he says he will go then just flat out dousnt he hasnt even gone to get us benefits cause he more than qualifies and his doc told him to go he just hasnt
at my aunts maybe i need to staart over i still love him i am just at a loss. i would love to live at my aunts maybe be a young adult i skipped childhood do i want to skip my twenties caring for him and letting me go to the slide i dont know how long i can balance anymore
.... sorry so long.... i dont know who else to go to
i have paxil adn trazodone to help me "deal" with things but i cant i dont know what else to do i feel like i am letting my life just get as low as it can go just to see how low it is before i just totally break...
i have an offer to move to another city not too far from here to live with my aunt, the invitation does not extend to my husband. he isnt a favorite in my family right now he has been sick for quite a few years and out of work for 4 years i am 21 years old and i would like to say i knew what i was getting into when i agreed to be with him at the age of 17 and then when i agreed to marry him at the age of 19. his age (36).
but maybe i didnt and still dont. i have been thru many jobs and am finding it hard to even want to work anymore my gpa is dropped beyond a point i ever dreamed.
he needs to get with his stuff he has been off of hepc interferon treatment for 1 year and a half and i dont know if i can heal myself and him at the same time and i dont see him even attempting to heal himself i am going to a psych and counseling and he has neglected to go he says he will go then just flat out dousnt he hasnt even gone to get us benefits cause he more than qualifies and his doc told him to go he just hasnt
at my aunts maybe i need to staart over i still love him i am just at a loss. i would love to live at my aunts maybe be a young adult i skipped childhood do i want to skip my twenties caring for him and letting me go to the slide i dont know how long i can balance anymore
.... sorry so long.... i dont know who else to go to

deleted_user
You need to go. You cant help someone who wont help themselves. You cant force him into counselling. You need to think of you and your health. You are a young woman who has a way out and a fresh start ahead of her. He sounds to be more of the problem than the solution. But, if you love him and want to make this work..give him an ultamatum. Tell him to work with you or without you.

deleted_user
i honestly don't know what to reply...it sounds like you need to go, but only you can decide...i am thinking of you, if that helps you at all.

deleted_user
he will leave... i guess taking the step is the hard part i feel like i an giving up or is it i'm afraid to admit i made a mistake i just don't feel like i did damnit:-) i have already talked to him about it He agrees.... this sucks

deleted_user
It sounds to me like you should go. Sometime people who need help will not/cannot get it until they absolutely hit rock bottom, and as long as you are there with him, neither of you can move on. There comes a time you have to choose between someone elses sanity, or your own, choose your own. It too hard being responsible for someone else all the time, Good luck :o)

deleted_user
you mean he will leave you if you give him the ultimatum? and/or move with your aunt? do you really think your husband is a good person who loves you, or do you think he is using you? i'm just trying to understand the whole thing so i can give good feedback.

deleted_user
he does genuinely love me i dont think he knows what to do tho during his interferon treatment his bipolar literally showed its ugly head and ever since then it has been differeence

deleted_user
can he go into the hospital to get treatment for both liver and bipolar? if you love him and don't want to leave, maybe hospital for him will help...of course he has to want to go and agree...just a thought. ultimately, you need to take care of yourself and make sure you are okay.

deleted_user
Unfortunately sometimes loving each other just isnt enough. Especially when you both have your own big issues to deal with. I think you both need to find partners who will stabilise you, not turn your lives into a seesaw. I have found cutting people off a really difficult thing to do, but it has always been for the best as I have given it soooo much thought before hand.

deleted_user
from your post it seem pretty clear that you already know what you need to do....but if you need a little friendly push then here....[push] you should go....if he wont help what other choise do you have?? hes much older which brings challenges and hes sick, more challenges. life is hard and i afraid its only going to get harder for you if you stay....at least try a trial seperation, see if a break doesnt clear things up for you...

deleted_user
I think your aunt is right -you need to start over. You'll always love him but in my own personal experince and my personal opinion is that loving someone is seperate from staying or being with someone. I moved in with someone when i was 18 years old and neither of us were healthy -it took me 5 years to actually realize that we were just hurting each other. We broke up and I did my own thing and grew up and figured a lot of stuff out that i couldn't have done on my own. Really think about it -it's a big decision. good luck my friend and mch love

Testycatlady
I agree with jules670 . Go to your aunts place. You will never be able to help your husband if he will not help himself. It is more important you worry about yourself first. Who knows. ... Maybe if you go, he will be forced to get help from those qualified, such as the Dr.'s. And he will be forced to get assistance financially. That would be the best thing for him, and it seems like he thinks he does not need to while you are there.

deleted_user
maybe if you had a break from him he might get his act together,doesn't have to be the end if you don't want it to be.Tell him you're fed up and say you need time apart to sort yourself out.You shouldn't be his carer.Good luck x

deleted_user
my hope is that he will realize that he needs to get his act together too and i do really believe it is the best for me but yeah i do need a friendly push its hard to take that leap to leave its just something i never thought i would have to do but yeah love isnt enough and we jsut enabling eachother heh i guess its the support i really need DS ROCKS!! i hoe this will be the kick in the butt he needs to get his sh*t together heh he is a good man jsut lost but i cant do it anymore i am feeling a little better about it not much but enough to atleast not cry

Testycatlady
We are here for you. Just call out my name... and you know wherever I am... I'll come running.... etc. etc.. cuz you got a friend ... and all that soppy stuff. We are here for you. If one isn't online one of the others will likely be. Hugs. I hope you feel better and more confident now.

deleted_user
well at least your not crying...that means alot....good for you. you have come a long way in one afternoon!!!!
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