what the fuck am i doing here? this is not where you go for your last hoorah. what purpose would i have to tell anyone i was going to kill myself. what could any of you possibly do for me. i am a tired mean drug addict... who doesnt even smoke pot anymore. there is this liquor store though, it calls to me. i bought a few pints, gin whiskey vodka. i have some sleeping pills and i am going to fucking sleep. i wont die, no no i am not so lucky, i will wake up tomorrow form a night of shallow breathing with an awful hangover. if i were going to kill myself i would not sign onto the internet. i would get a cheap motel and do it right. pay for the week and do it on the first night. something slow and painful. hand cuff myself in the bathroom and slit my wrists. i have this beautifully ornate straight razor. i am too cowardly to die. cowards live in the shadows until they are old having done nothing for anyone.,
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