.... was by far the lowest I have ever felt. I have NEVER really had suicidal thoughts before. I've gone to sleep hoping not to wake up, but never actually thought about taking my own life. I was so scared because I couldn't control my emotions. I couldn't bottle it up any more. I can normally just take a deep breath and hold everything in. I've had an awful nights sleep and now I just feel ill. My emotions are in check but I think my body is suffering for it. I'm still here though. Thank you all who sent hugs and messages, and thanks to Toocool and Copsy for calling (sorry I didn't answer Copsy).
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