To me, the fact that you are asking us for help, tells me you don't want to die.
I know, over the years, when my depression would "peak", I would have thoughts: what would it be like to hit that tree or pole? How much would it hurt if I slammed into that bridge? How fast would I fall asleep if I took this whole bottle of pills?
The thoughts are real and very scary, but because I had asked questions and didn't have any answers, I was too affraid to find out, why because I wouldn't be here to answer my self.
I agree talking with your therapist would help a great deal. I have talked with mine. She didn't hospitalize me. There is a chance, because you haven't attempted anything, these are thoughts and visions, she may not hospitalize you either. It is good to talk to get it out of your mind, especially to someone who is better equipped to handle this and get you through it, she may jusy surprise you.

I agree with 4boys. You are asking for help, so you certainly haven't decided to end your life. Please talk to your counselor. When I was at my worst, my therapist was so important. I ended up in my car driving around, because there wasn't anywhere I wanted to be. I found myself wishing that God would take me home. What always stops me short from continuing with this is that losing someone is so hard. My family would feel that pain forever. The thoughts told me that I needed help, and I think that's what your thoughts are telling you. I think that your therapist would do what is best for you. Mine didn't hospitalize me, but did keep in close contact with me. I hope you can see your way through these feelings and share them with your therapist or someone else that you trust.

I have been throuogh the same thing... just tis past weekend. saturday was very bad for me. I thought about it all the ways i could do it. I hit my head against the wall (or with a hard object... beer bottle, etc0 to try and get the thoughts out of my head. It doesn't work, I cut my self to control my pain... that sucks too. I was advised to speak to a support group my family parents... I'm still not ready to talk to anyone. Only my girlfriend knows and she can't handle it... its not faie to subject her to it. i guess I'm really not helping am I? The main thing is you can pull through. Suicide sucks and thoughts of it only hurt. I would avise talking to your therapist because she can help. I oftn get past it for awhile then fall back, when I get past it I realize how dumb it was to consider it... how it would hurt those i leave behind. I'm glad I get through it but that doesn't stop me from going back there when things get tough. GEt HELP like I should.

PLease talk to counselor or someone you trust and respect. Vocalizing my thoughts instead of keeping them inside my head always helps me to see things more objectively. I am personally acquainted with people whose loved ones committed suicide. Not a single one is happy to be rid of the person. Instead every single one spends a great deal of time wondering what they did wrong, how they could have helped. Kids suffer the worst, because they just can't understand why anyone would do that. Suicide is teh supreme expression of selfishness. Think you're going to help yourself, but you really crap all over everyone who cares about you, whetehr you think they do care or not. I also had a friend commit suicide when we were 18. I felt pretty helpless too, but I wouldn't take that final step. Now it's 40 years later and I have had a great life. I sometimes think about Jack and all the things he missed. There is a way out of depression for us all if we do the right things. Please get death out of your mind and go see therapist.

You might be surprised how difficult it really can be for someone to get you involuntarily hospitalized. Besides the big-time threat of being sued for a wrongful action, medical professionals are taught now to be much more respectful of a patient's rights than they used to be. The only time they are allowed to forcefully admit you, is if you are an immediate harm to yourself or others. Having thoughts about it does not qualify as this - however, if you tell your therapist you are going to go home and slit your wrists, or shoot someone, that is a different story. It would be a good thing to tell your therapist, as they can help you figure out how to at least try to ward off your deepening depression and actually prevent what you are afraid of, from happening. Your therapist needs to know the intensity of your depression in order to effectively work with you. If he/she doesn't know this, they might say or do something inadvertantly harmful to you - like be more firm or confromtational, when if they knew how you're feeling, they might not.

I've had this same problem lately but i did tell my therapist. she doesnt have the power to have me put anywhere . but she does try to get me to open up .about what has caused the thoughts.to get so strong.my thoughts become almost overpowering. tell you'r therapist she may be you'r support . i see my therapist weekly .......... my thoughts NEVER go away . i'm here if you wont to talk . Debbie

thank you all for your responses. i very much appreciate them. i'm feeling a bit better today, although still miserable...just not as much. i see my therapist tomorrow...one of them, and i think i will mention this to her and see what she thinks. I know she's going to be very much worried, which i do hate. i hate to worry anyone.

the thing about the hospital is...IF she tells me she wants me in the hospital, i will honor her wishes. i've always been easy to work with in that way...i do whatever is asked of me. i've been in the hospital 7 times throughout my life, most of those being in the past couple of years. i hate going, but if asked to go, i will. maybe it's what i need...i don't know.

anyway, thanks again for all of the advive. i'm thankful for it.