My dear, sweet mom passed away on valentines day of this year and even though there are other people in my life, husband (if you want to call him that), children, I am empty inside. I feel without feeling, laugh with an empty echoing inside me and smile by sheer memory of the muscles in my face. To be quite honest....I feel dead inside myself. I go to bed every night praying that I will go in my sleep. I could never kill myself...I could never leave my babies with that legacy...so I silently pray God will take mercy on me and take me while I sleep. I don't want to go the rest of my life with out her, she was my soul mate....and I am a shell of the person I was before she left me. I would give anything just to dream of her but she has stayed far from my dreams....I am lost and alone and now fully understand what it feels like to be an orphan....I want my mom.....I just want my mom.
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