I can't stay on, my family's here. But I am so scared right now. I'm terrified that I'm returning to the point where I was hospitalized, and I can't pull myself up. I can't really talk to my family because they don't get it...it's Like shouldn't she be over this already. I'm scared my life is going to stay as it is right now, and I'll hate myself, and be alone and never be loved again. And i dont want to stay tjat way i don't want to stay alive that way. if my life is going to be total crap then just let me go slready. It's one of thgoise days I wish id be hit by a car or something. I promised my kids i wouldnt do anything to my self, but they have no idea what i feel. why can't it just change? why cant life look up for a change. why do i keep feeling like a total failure why won't anyone love me
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