I know how you feel, i really do..but like i've been told so many times by ppl on here that ending it all may stop your pain, but it will cause a lot of pain for your friends and your family that honestly care for you!! I would love to continue talking to you if you would like to send me a message!!

Welcome to the DS site. I've been a member for about a month, have found it to be very helpful, inspiring, moving. There is also fun on this site, and add a some craziness. There are many, many caring people who just want to help, and be helped. Wishing you best.

hey...i know how you feel...i was searching for a reason to live as well. i hope that you find out...it is a cold, cruel world that we live in...

it can be difficult just to live day to day. i don't pity you, because i don't like when people pity me. it upsets me...

but i just want you to know that i've been where you are and if you'd like to talk more about it, i'm able and willing to talk to you about anything.

keep your head up. NOT ALL people are careless, heartless, inconsiderate meanies...it just seems like it. =)

I said this to someone else earlier:
To all who have suicidal thoughts...
Please get help. I have had the suicide spirit follow me for days on end, and yes it sounded like sweet relief, but luckily I was able to shake it off and see better days. I never got serious, thank God. You have no idea what a BAD idea that is. My brother committed suicide almost one year ago 11/17/06. I can't believe the anniversary is coming up so fast. When I got the call just before 4 in the morning, I had sounds coming out of me that I never made before. I was so loud, I ran outside so that my children wouldn't wake to such awful sounds coming from me. As someone who has been HURT by suicide, I say to you to do whatever you need to do to shake it. Go to the ER, call the National Suicide Hotline. Something. Life is so much more than being skinny, life is so much more than money. Life is so much more than planning your death. You CAN find it. You are meant to be here. You are meant to do and say things here on this earth. If you honestly seek God, he will not let you down. He will lead you out of this.
But most of all, you have no idea what it will do to those you have left behind. Anyone can talk to me about this, and I will give them all the time of day that they want. But most of all: Everyone wonders if those who commit suicide ever said anything first. YES. They do. My brother mentioned it to me during the last year he was alive. I can't tell you how much I miss him. And yes he had problems but that wasn't the answer - not the correct answer. Not the good answer. I can't believe I have to live something like 30-40 more years here without him..... PS: I realized what those sounds were coming out of me when I got the call about my brother's suicide. It was the sound of crying with all my heart. I guess I'd never really done that before. Again, please get help with those suicidal thoughts.
If you want to know ways that his suicide affected me that I haven't said - and I mean the REAL deep stuff, contact me. I'll tell you what your friends and family will go through.
I know I sound like I am on a soap box.... but I do care, and I have a love for people who are in need. I know you need caring people right now, and I hope you'll count me as one of them.

I had such plans about 4 years ago, lined all my ducks up in a row... house all ready, easy for family to clean it out afterwards, tossed out everything I didn't want them to know about, etc. There was a date in my head, I didn't think I could live passed it. On the day before, I made a phone call, dialing shrinks out of the phone book... lucked out when a doc answered the phone instead of a secretary, I talked to him awhile and got in to see him the next day. It helped me get through THAT day, and them therapy and medication did wonders. It aint so bad now.

So there IS hope... help is out there, but sometimes you got to pick up a phone and ask for it.

Welcome to DS!