Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
WHAT MATTERS NOW? if youve ever got that desperate feeling about the past.... that feeling you get when you are on your own, and the atmosphere touches you, you think something is there.... you can feel the spirits of people you love. but you deam it as insanity - you know you cant take things back.
its like looking at a story that you never felt was your own. you know you could have done better... but you were never apart of it, and that really fucking hurts. i had this connection with someone when i was in a kids home, we promised and vowed to each other that not the system, not anyone could harm us or take us away.... we used to run away from there sometimes and sit under a brigde, or go into a park and look up at the stars. we used to talk of ghosts and used to think we could become apart of each other. i could feel this strangness in the air, like god was watching us - like we had a destiny.
NOW EVERYTHING IS GONE. its my fault for pushing all ive loved away. my brother has passed away, i dont live with my family. ive lost a love that i knew id lost inside anyway.
ive lost my faith.
ive lost it.
no one understands this.... only me and him. but now i dont know him or myself anymore. and i am starting to believe that all of it was just a crazy dream that haunts me so much i hate thinking about it.
i listen to these songs, they get to me badly. i dont want to lose control but i do. i dont want to be with the ghost of him as i walk down the street but i do. i dont want to have this wrenching feeling in my stomach when i know, HES NOT THERE .... none of them ever were, and that feeling of a higher life, or god was never real. and i am forever feeling that atmoshere, the images of him and me walking along the street in the dark, with the yellow lamps, with us clinging on to all we had.
its sad how things change. and now everything is empty.
i am not an emo. nor am i an attention seeker...
i just yearn for something. if you understand what i mean by the fooprints of someone/something, or the ghost. then you''ll get it.
its like looking at a story that you never felt was your own. you know you could have done better... but you were never apart of it, and that really fucking hurts. i had this connection with someone when i was in a kids home, we promised and vowed to each other that not the system, not anyone could harm us or take us away.... we used to run away from there sometimes and sit under a brigde, or go into a park and look up at the stars. we used to talk of ghosts and used to think we could become apart of each other. i could feel this strangness in the air, like god was watching us - like we had a destiny.
NOW EVERYTHING IS GONE. its my fault for pushing all ive loved away. my brother has passed away, i dont live with my family. ive lost a love that i knew id lost inside anyway.
ive lost my faith.
ive lost it.
no one understands this.... only me and him. but now i dont know him or myself anymore. and i am starting to believe that all of it was just a crazy dream that haunts me so much i hate thinking about it.
i listen to these songs, they get to me badly. i dont want to lose control but i do. i dont want to be with the ghost of him as i walk down the street but i do. i dont want to have this wrenching feeling in my stomach when i know, HES NOT THERE .... none of them ever were, and that feeling of a higher life, or god was never real. and i am forever feeling that atmoshere, the images of him and me walking along the street in the dark, with the yellow lamps, with us clinging on to all we had.
its sad how things change. and now everything is empty.
i am not an emo. nor am i an attention seeker...
i just yearn for something. if you understand what i mean by the fooprints of someone/something, or the ghost. then you''ll get it.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
JOY!
I hope you find peace one day soon.
but if youve lost everyone youd feel pretty shitty too.