Something someone brought to my attention, and I sort of agree...They said judging by what they heard that Andrea's really stuck to her mother like a fly to flypaper and that she's so dependent on her that she'd never leave the woman and that if something happened to her, then Andrea would just be sitting around like there was nothing to do with her life anymore. They said the closeness to her mother and possible unwillingness to ever be separate from her mother could cause a strain on the relationship. I mean I already can note that even when we get married, we're going to end up having her mom go wherever we go and that we'd be taking care of her for the rest of her life, then there's the fact that when saying to go to Texas to see my relatives sometime, Andrea's statement was that since her mom wouldn't be able to fly a plane (panic attack) then she wouldn't be able to go because she doesn't want to leave her mom by herself. (The woman CAN take care of herself, but Andrea refuses to see that, since she's been taking care of her mom since she was 15, it is "all [she] knows") I don't like it, but I can try and live with it because I love Andrea with all my heart, but is all that stuff true? Could it create a problem for us? Would it lead to ruin? I don't think so and I wouldn't want it to, but these things I can't discuss with Andrea because every time I try, she doesn't want to talk about it at that given moment in time...What this person didn't understand is that her mother is pretty much ailing, she's got so many problems and tends to not do very well, but she is still capable of taking care of herself...Andrea's just stuck to her like glue. I will never make her choose between the two of us, which also begs the other thing that she said was "if you do make me choose, then Mom wins and you go" which seems fair, but it also means I need to bite my tongue where her mother's concerned and I can't speak my mind. Her mother also tends to always wake her up early and make Andrea get her something that she could easily get herself, like a glass of soda, then she sometimes tends to put Andrea in a bad mood because the girl constantly worries about her. Hell I worry about both of them. I need to be calm myself and make sure I'm in a good mood and point of mind so that I can deal with them when they're in a bad mood or depressed...I will never leave Andrea, but I know that's my half, what would she do? If it were just the two of us and her mother left or passed on, then Andrea would only know work, eat, bathe, clean, sleep, probably. Hell, I have to practically beg Andrea to take her day off and go out of the house on a date, though she's getting better on that since we both decided to try and go out once or twice a week. You guys don't think there's any risk, do you? I don't, but I'm kind of worried.
Posts You May Be Interested In
We just got home from Port. St. Lucie. Today was Pa’s funeral. I finally said goodbye to my biggest hero today. It was so hard. My grandmother has started transiting to pass on. She did not make it to the celebration of life yesterday or the funeral today. She is very agitated and doesn’t know who anyone is. She has hospice there 24/7. They have upped her morphine and her medication. They are...
Hi, I'm new to the group. I lost my baby sister, June of this year. I was in a grief group, irl, but due to the circumstances surrounding my sister's death, I was looking for something different. I didn't feel comfortable in the group. I kept feeling as though I had to defend her, and my feelings about what happened