My friends & family...that no matter how much they want me to and no matter how much they support me I just can't get over this, it just keeps on going and going. I almost feel as though it'd be better if I didn't have such amazing people in my life, because then I wouldn't have to feel so guilty about being this way all the time. I feel like all I'm doing is letting them down no matter what. They just want me to be okay but I'm not.
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My dad died 3 weeks ago, and it was the most earth shattering thing that's ever happened to me. I drank more often than i care to admit, and i did cocain as often as i could. honestly? it's fun as shit. but now, i've done it every day since my dad passed, and whether or not it's good for you, i'm still wondering if it's happening because i'm dealing with a death in my life, or because i'm dealing...
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