It is nearly 17 hours since the nuclear meltdown this morning and as much as I can normally find some other focus normally I am finding that I cannot sleep, but my body wants to so bad. I have nightmares often and trying to sleep on a night like this frightens me. I am reading every post pretty much, wanting to reach out to everyone, wanting them all to reach out to me, knowing it is not realistic lol. I will likely try tomorrow to see if I can get some kind of counseling but having not a cent to my name I doubt it. From research I have done i think I also have asperger's as hard as that is for me to wrap my head around so I will try for SSI, but with no diagnosis not sure how far it will go. When I am like this my mind keeps going and going and going like a runaway train, building momentum. It is 1:16 am and I was up at like 4 yesterday morning. I hope to be able to sleep soon.
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Feeling pretty bad today. I'm exhausted in every way. Tired of living this life where nothing changes or gets better despite how much I try. Had a bad life all my life and I'm just tired of being here.