i think if it wasn't for my children and the guilt i feel with killing myself, right now i would either do that, r checkmyself into a hospital. the man i live with is difficult, is imaptient and yells, often calls me names, hasn't hit me in a couple of months. i try to feel hope, that i will soon find a decent job in customer service in an office maybe with a good company, be self sufficient. not have to take my colthes off for money. i hate myself much of the time, i am nice to people but lately just sob alot, i can't even hide it from my chidlren, i try not to dwell in the past, just look ahead, but i'm hysterical with emotion and crying. thank you or listening. i'm 43.
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