I have been having a very bad winter, I don't think I have been this depressed in a very long time. On top of that one thing after another continues to happen and I just never feel happy any more. I have son's ages 7 and 4 1/2. They don't listen to me or respect me in the least. I have tried and tried and tried and nothing works, nothing changes. I had a great day planned for us, play some hockey at the rink, go for lunch and then sledding. So here it is 12:30, I had planned to be out at 10:30, they have done nothing that I asked. I said no Wii today and I come out of the bathroom and they are playing Wii. I feel like giving up on everything. Obviously they don't want to spend time with me at all. I always wanted children and now see that it's just one more thing that I have screwed up. By the time they are teenagers I expect they will be in trouble with the law and end up ruining their whole lives. I am sick and tired of everything and spend many hours a day thinking about suicide. I am 39 and have never been loved. This is not a life worth living. When there is no happiness, what is the point to continue to suffer day after day after day?
Posts You May Be Interested In
I am in a fog and I'd like to know, how do you all overcome your depressive slumps.
I feel like I’m hopeless I’m this world, like I have nothing else worth fighting for. I’m so hurt inside I feel heavy hearted everyday. Everyday I wish I was dead. I feel like I have a 1,000 pound weight on my back and everyday it’s crushes me more and more. I just want to feel cared for. Idk if I can keep living this way.