I have been having a very bad winter, I don't think I have been this depressed in a very long time. On top of that one thing after another continues to happen and I just never feel happy any more. I have son's ages 7 and 4 1/2. They don't listen to me or respect me in the least. I have tried and tried and tried and nothing works, nothing changes. I had a great day planned for us, play some hockey at the rink, go for lunch and then sledding. So here it is 12:30, I had planned to be out at 10:30, they have done nothing that I asked. I said no Wii today and I come out of the bathroom and they are playing Wii. I feel like giving up on everything. Obviously they don't want to spend time with me at all. I always wanted children and now see that it's just one more thing that I have screwed up. By the time they are teenagers I expect they will be in trouble with the law and end up ruining their whole lives. I am sick and tired of everything and spend many hours a day thinking about suicide. I am 39 and have never been loved. This is not a life worth living. When there is no happiness, what is the point to continue to suffer day after day after day?
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