I am doing a little bit better then I was a few days ago. A few days ago I was hoping that I would just have died on the operating room table. Now I dont have those thoughts but I would like to be able to just open my head and take out all the anger that I have inside of it for no reason what so ever. I called my husband and told him on voice mail that I am having a bad night that I need him to call and talk to me. He is good at calming me down. But five minutes after leaving him a voice mail I started feeling better know he was going to call me and got excited when the text message thinger went off on my phone and it was my sister in law asking if I could watch her daughter on tuesday and she knows darn well its my twins preschool end of year cermony thing and I promised the twins I would be there. So I got even more angry all over again. I am taking meds but its not helping all the time just most of the time. I am so sick of feeling this way. I just wish it would end.
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